My Economic Stimulus Plan

I think I've come up with a way to truly stimulate the economy, and make America a much stronger country at the same time. And my plan only costs $500 billion - half the cost of Obama's failed stimulus plan - and mine is guaranteed to work. It's time to increase our exports, and we should start with liberals. I'm really not joking, stay with me on this and I'll explain how it works.

Barack Obama received approximately 62 million votes in the last election. I'm going to be generous and assume that at least 12 million of those people now realise their mistake and would like a do-over. That leaves around 50 million "true believers" who hate their country and the principles it was built on as much as Chairman Obama does. These are the people ruining this country, and it's time for them to go. These people's thinking is more in line with Joseph Stalin than Thomas Jefferson. Of course when Stalin needed to get rid of 50 million people he just had them rounded up and shot. I'm offering something a little more attractive. How about $10,000 and a plane ticket? Seriously, these people are constantly telling us how much better things are in places like Venezuela, Cuba, Russia, and France. Hell, Michael Moore has made a career out of it. I say we help them live in a country that they prefer over this one.

For $500 billion we could export our most expensive commodity - our home grown neo-coms - to countries where they will fit in and be happy, since they aren't happy here. And I believe my plan would be "deficit neutral" since most of the people we are exporting are no doubt receiving some type of government assistance. Think about it. We can drastically reduce the number of government employees, Marxist college professors, career college students, and welfare recipients. Shouldn't take long to recoup our investment. And unions will be all but defunct here when their members are all living somewhere else, talk about "economic stimulus"!

I know you think I'm joking, but I'm really half serious about this. If you offered the people who hate this country enough to hand it over to a Marxist community organizer $10k and a ticket to the socialist utopia of their choice, more than a few would take it. Of course they will be required to give up their U.S. citizenship and agree not to return, but that shouldn't be an issue for these people.

Getting rid of the America haters and their families for good is more than worth the price. We can take back our country and get back to the prosperity that we deserve. And with 50 million fewer liberals, we won't have to worry about another Barack Hussein Obama being elected anytime soon. I say we all suggest my plan to our members of Congress and hope one of them will have the guts to actually propose it. Just the proposal in Congress might wake some people up.